Fear & Photography

Fear became overwhelming whenever in a low-risk situations. It had me questioning not only my surrounding environments, but was also becoming an evil monster in my head. I was worried about dying every time that I skied. Even more disastrous, I was worried about failing as a photographer. Fear was even stifling my creativity. I was living my life on the edge of disaster, even though knowledge and experience would dictate otherwise.

The locations and environments that traveled to for solace, were in fact generating huge anxieties for me. I began to question my place within this world and my chosen profession, daily.

Controlling the Environmental Fear

Many people suggested that I go “see” someone. Yeah that may work for many, but it has never work for me. The way that I began to fix my fears was systematical. I truly don’t feel that I have cured myself at this point, but I do actually feel that I have control once again. Even if it is an elusion. Insert smiley blinky emoticon here!

I began by taking myself back to the beginning stages of skiing and mountain biking. I skied lines in the backcountry that I was completely confident in my ability to manage. This included skiing only with the people I knew and trusted. For mountain biking I actually took a downhill certification class. Over the course of 3 years, I worked back up to skiing and photographing in more difficult terrain. Safety became my primary concern. The people I chose to photograph also became part of the equation. Now, I only photograph people who I know with complete confidence will save me if something goes completely wrong.

Baby Steps

I also took baby steps on my bike. The downhill certification I received, had me teaching others to ride. This taught me to help others deal with their fears of getting hurt and excelling past their comfort zone. This, in turn, brought confidence back to my riding. My 8-year-old son also helped. He loves getting air on his mountain bike. To prove himself to his dad he made me follow him. Motion is contagious and people are infectious.

My largest breakthrough came last season when a friend pushed me to ski a steep line. He never gave me an option of backing out because he was 100% confident in my ability. I felt like I was dropping into the “K-12” from the John Cusack movie Better of Dead. The third time I skied that run last season my “mojo” was back.

Fear within Business

Fear became almost paralyzing for outdoor activities, but it also began to work against me photographically. I struggled with ideas and confidence within my business. Every day the phone didn’t ring became another added degree towards the fear of failure.

My solution was simple. Honesty. I began talking about every low income month with my wife. Even though that began to stress her out more, it kept me watching the bottom line. I often told her about what I saw on the horizon. Where I was going and why. Though it has definitely been a rocky road doing this, I have been learning how to discuss more and more things with her.

My hustle then increased more an more. My fear decreased more and more. As fear declines, creativity takes over. What am I doing next? Where will the next dollar come from? No lead is left to sit. When someone emails they immediately get a call back. I continually brainstorm new ideas and I write them all down!

Fear within Photography

How do you remove the fear of photo failure though? Bottom line, shoot more. Leave no stone unturned and shoot as many varying compositions as your little mind can dream up. If you are afraid a specific animal, first learn about that animal, and then go photograph it. Yes, spiders bite, snakes chase, and bears attack humans. Not as often as you think though. The human race is responsible for way more animal deaths than animals are for human deaths. Most of the time the outdoors wants nothing to do with you the human.

If an animal gives you the gift of a brief encounter, breathe and press the shutter. If you are on a scary ridge or peak or wild situation, breathe. Analyze your options, your routes, and your escapes. Talk to the people you are with. Tell them how you feel. Any person worth traveling with will make you feel safe if you indeed are. If they are afraid too, the will also tell you. Then you bond. At some point you will do the same for someone else.

Moving past my fear of failing photographs was simple. I read books on photography and design. This reinforced what I already learned in architecture school and from mentors like Art Wolfe. Plus, creating cool shit with a strong concept allows you to justify anything. Form follows function. At times you will need to make judgement calls and re-adjust your process. This is actually called design development. Just remember confidence is not egotistical. You should still remain humble in the defense of your photographic work.

Ending Fear

What I have learned from dealing with paralyzing fear is that fear doesn’t end. Knowledge IS power. The more you know and analyze any situation the less fear you have and the safer you are. Like I said earlier, experience can be detrimental, but knowledge coupled with experience can help you grow exponentially. I am not an expert, but my confidence level grows because I try to learn something about my environment every day. I also take incremental steps towards moving forward and up. The past cannot be reversed, only learned from.

How did that successful photo go down? Now repeat that process, but add something new to the mix. How did you land that big fish client? Now repeat that process and add something new for the next client. I cleared the little jump on my bike what’s the next biggest one? Progress, repeat, and add.

Fear will always be present, but as you know more and experience more fear will become more relatable. It will become intuition and hopefully you will turn back when you feel things are just not right that next time. Fear may not every go away but you can make it smaller!